Thursday, April 23, 2009

Cross of St George? Not as fucking cross as I am

Bollocks to it all.

It gets worse each year. In a futile and frenzied attempt to deny the trend of the breaking down of national characteristics, we are bombarded on the electric radio by an assortment of halfwits and jingoistic knuckledraggers to celebrate the day of loony George and the cult of Englishness.

Bollocks to it all.

George, who probably never existed, was born, if he ever existed which is doubtful, in Turkey, so his name was not George, but some Turkish/Arabic version of said sobriquet, never came to England, had nothing to do with England, would never have heard of England, Britain or Milton Keynes even if he had existed, which he probably didn’t, never killed a dragon, because the dragon certainly never existed, and neither did George, and if we are to believe the myths surrounding his doubtful existence, he was so many parsnips short of a casserole that he chose to give his non-existent life rather than renounce his religion. He was exactly the sort of dickhead that should be chosen as symbol of English greatness.

Bollocks to it all.

I am a citizen of the world. I am not particularly proud of it, considering the destruction that my species has unleashed on the planet that it depends upon for survival, but I will not compound that stupidity by identifying with an arbitrary section of the globe and the xenophobic portion of the population thereof that wants to promote divisiveness and conflict.

Bollocks to it all.

9 comments:

Rol said...

Ah, you're just mad because your tax bill has gone up.

KAZ said...

In Catalunya it is St Jordi's day.
He also killed a dragon and has a flag with a red cross on it.
He was probably a few prawns short of a paella as well.

Richard said...

Nice day, isn't it.

Boz said...

ooo let's have a St. Bollocks day. We can celebrate politicians.

Kopenjz said...

Oye Guv!
Deep breath, chin up, tits out, stiff upper lip and all that..
now, now, what's all this then?

The madness of Saint George..
prolly another bloody German like George I.

Let me see if I have the myth straight..
SinGeorge wanted to poke the nubile lybian daughter of Colonel Gaddafi Duck so he enslaved some awful dragon..which is obviously a metaphorical phallic representation of his John Thomas to which he himself was enslaved.

He then killed his "willy" so that all of those awful foreigners would revert to worshipping our lady of perpetual virginity but having lost his manhood, for a time toured with the Vienna Boys Choir and then lived out his days pulling mussels from the shell in Blackpool.

Hogwash.

What I remember the most about George is that he went Coo-Coo, had purple pee, and then let the Americans gain control of the Colonies. What a tosser!

Richard said...

Don, has your prescription run out?

Geoff said...

And I've just spent all day building fucking Jerusalem!

Dave said...

Yes, well. The first verse of Blake's poem is myth too. Or the answer to his questions is: no.

Do you have anything to say about the anniversary of the birth (and death) of Shakespeare?

tom909 said...

Vicus, I couldn't agree with you more. How can intelligent men/women even begin to get into all this jingoistic shite.
And these are the peoploe in charge - it's a bit worrying.