Mr Terry Waite, a man so annoying that his boss sent him away to be kidnapped for five years rather than put up with his babbling, features in an article in the torygraph today where he says that he prefers the quiet contemplation of a Quaker meeting to an Anglican service.
He objects to all the standing up and sitting down, and the attempts of modern clergy to modernise the message. I am reliably informed that in almost all Anglican churches, the service has not changed at all in 400 years. It is only when the grinning bulk of Waite is seen approaching that the authorities devise some improvised nonsense in order to discourage his attendance.
It has long been the unwritten policy of the c of e to drive away unwanted members of the congregation, and this explains the wide variety of different sects that exist within the protestant church in this country.
John Wesley had the unfortunate habit of breaking wind violently at his
The founding members of the Salvation Army were a disparate bunch of tone-deaf worshippers, whose raucous and ear-splitting rendition of hymns ancient and modern caused their friends and family to devise a plan whereby the roof sprang a leak whenever music was called for. The music of the early Salvationists was so appalling that even their own congregation could not stand it, hence the tradition of taking the noise outside and irritating the shit out of everyone else.
The founding of most sects and religions can be seen to have underlying causes of a similar nature. The Egyptians got so pissed off with Moses, that they affected to let him ‘escape’, armed with a joke map of the area east of the
Anyway, that’s enough historical information for one day. I trust you have all benefited from it.
It’s the bloody Quakers I feel sorry for. Sitting for an hour or so on those bloody benches, praying fervently that you won’t be cornered by that Waite fellow after the meeting. What a way to spend a Sunday morning. Pacifism has its price.