In an exciting new development, scientists have discovered some planets that orbit their sun in between 1 and 4 days.
I have been waiting some time for someone to do something about the tardy trajectory of our home planet. For those of us living in the non central parts of the planet it means that we have to endure at least six months of cold weather, or about 45 John Motson football commentaries. In an age where we are capable of cosseting ourselves in comfort, it is clearly unacceptable that we should be dependent on something as random as some ill-conceived laws of ‘physics’ in order to feel warm and enjoy some fresh air. I have scoured the agenda of the conferences of our leading political parties, and neither of them has anything to say about speeding up a bit. I am tired of having to wait from August to May to find that
This is not all. If we lived on these planets, and assuming some pompous
I shall be following the Liberal Democrat conference with more than normal interest to see what they have to offer in the light of this news. Come on, Charlie Mingus, my vote is within your grasp.