Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Golgafrincham again

As the end of day approaches, and a fairly dull day at that, I have just been cheered up immensely by the news that my nephew has failed his first accountancy class.

(If you are a Brit like me, the concept and implications of “failing a first class” are not at all clear. It seems to be just one constituent of the course, but who gives a crap?)

I told him how proud I was. It seems that I have been spared the embarrassment of having an accountant in my family. I could always plead the case of his not being a blood relative, but the shame would be with me. I told him the old one about the definition of total waste being a bus full of accountants going over a cliff. With two empty seats. I also told him to buy his accountancy tutor a bus ticket.

14 comments:

Richard said...

The worst thing about accountants is that one day I will need one and the scary thing is, I haven't an arsing clue what they're on about. I will have to be content with my penury while my accountant lives in the Maldives. We went to see one in Nantwich and all he could say was that they'd just got Gary Barlow's account (the one who wrote all the songs in Take That and was meant to have shagged Lulu). Was I meant to be impressed?

Dave said...

I am glad to see that your break has mellowed you.

Dave said...

Oh yes, I meant to say, nice title for this post.

zed said...

you have a very strange take on life, old chap. i'm quite pleased with the amount of accounting that i am capable of - considering i failed my O level maths exam.

tom909 said...

For a brief moment there I thought this thread was going to swing back on to the subject of Lulu. But thank god no. Let's face it, what kind of utterly gross person would choose Lulu's tits over accountancy. Not me, I can tell you that for a start.

Sharon J said...

Oh blow! And there's me in need of a good accountant while you're off sending them all over cliff edges! The world's not fair, I'm telling ya!

Geoff said...

I was busy adding up a column of figures this morning and tap tap tap tap tap, I realised I was tapping out the beginnings of a Genesis song. So you see, Vicus, accountancy is not a dull profession by any means.

Not that I'm a professional by any means.

Frontier Editor said...

The Virginia Society of Certified Public Accountants, in its interminable commercials-that-aren't-commericials on our public radio station, uses the tag line: "CPAs - Never underestimate the value . . ."

Thank you Vicus for establishing a proper ending to that commercial:

"CPA's - Never underestimate the value in BTUs of a burning, screaming busload of them."

Carmenzta said...

And I might add to FE's comments that all those accountants probably failed their first tests too. That is what makes me wary about doctors. Most of them scraped by in school, the ones that were excellent students are doing research in Yale or are locked up somewhere.

Vicus Scurra said...

Carmenzta - please refrain from the juxtaposition of the words "doctor" and "scraped". Some of my readers are a tad squeamish.

realdoc said...

Point of information...it was Jason Orange not Gary Barlow who is supposed to have shagged Lulu.
I have no idea how I know that, I just do.

Accountants...wankers!

Cherrypie said...

I trust your nephew is still in full control of his personality. I understand the charismandectomy forms part of the 4th module of accountancy training

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you, Realdoc, for the information and the support.
Cherrypie, thank you for your concern. I shall monitor the situation and report back if anything changes.

homo escapeons said...

Cherry is absolutely correct.
Apparently once the full charisma bypass is completed the Accountant is sufficiently bland enough to begin his descent to the next level and become an Economist.