Thursday, October 05, 2006

I do not usually do requests, but my dear friend Frontier Editor has pressed me, and it would be churlish to refuse.

Astute readers (oxymoron?) will have noticed that Jack Straw is the latest politician to have attracted ire by making inconsequential remarks. This is the way of politics in this country now, they have no position, no policy and nothing of any substance to say, and so the media have to try to scratch among their obscure writings to find something that can be blown up into something sensational. Bollocks.

Mr Straw was a mildly radical student leader in the 1960s. He held a vaguely libertarian and leftish position, although not many took much notice. He is now one of the most authoritarian and idiotic former holders of the office of home secretary, which is a great achievement considering some of the morons who preceded him.

Mr Straw has said that when he meets constituents, if they are Moslem women and wearing a veil, he asks them if they would mind removing it, as he feels that enhances his ability to communicate.

Let me add this to the debate. I would make a similar request to Mr Straw should the situation arise whereby our paths crossed. Before I began to engage him in a rational and frank discussion, I would ask, politely, “Why don’t you fuck off, you deranged tory shitsucking fuckwit?”

Will this do?

29 comments:

Frontier Editor said...

Braaaaaaavo!

Absolutely without pretense or any respect for Straw's basic humanity! A wonderful bouquet of tenuous politeness leading to the burning smell of Tory flesh, such as it is.

For a moment, even my shirt and facial hair felt as if they might ignite.

Long live Vicus!

Dave said...

When you say 'tory', presumably this is some ironic statement about his politics. Him being a Labour MP.

Vicus Scurra said...

Yes, Dave, like my comments about the liberal party conference not having happened yet in the previous post. Sorry, American visitors. It appears that the limeys don't get irony.

Dave said...

No, no, no. I DID think it was irony. I was just flagging-up that I'd got your little joke.

Maybe the pian, two hours sleep last night and the drugs I'm on meant that I didn't word my comment very well, for which I humbly apologise.

I similarly understood your Lib-Dem post, so didn't comment pointing out your 'mistake'.

Dave said...

'pian' is a deliberately ironic refrence to the post I put up over at my place earlier this morning.

Maybe.

Dave said...

As is 'refrence'

Vicus Scurra said...

Similarly Dave, I also know that you are one of the few to whom I will never have to explain anything.
I am not sure you will find much comfort in that.

tom909 said...

Can I just take this opportunity to add my ten pence worth to this discussion about Jack Straw.
What happened to the guy. He starts off almost there and turns into one of the biggest twats you could ever imagine.
An absolute power mad, ignorant, arse-lisking gobshite. A truly horrible smug twat who I wouldn't even want to have a cup of tea with, let alone have him running the country.
Thank you, that feels better.

Geoff said...

Maybe he would see people better if he wore his glasses.

Frontier Editor said...

Don't worry Vicus, we also have irony here too.

I say this with a straight face and absolute conviction that Bill Clinton is the best Republican president this country had had since Eisenhower, while George W. Bush truly is the worst Democratic president this country has had since Lyndon Johnson.

And I too thought at first that Jack Straw was a reasonable sort years ago before he seemingly turned

Richard said...

I'm struck with this awful dilemma you see because I heard one of his Muslim constituents on the wireless this morning saying they "didn't like being told what to do" and this rankles. Goose/gander good for paradox etc. I suppose Mr Straw could have strapped some Pathclear round his waist and said you will otherwise it's you, me and the street in Paradise if you don't. I expect effigies are being burnt in Islamabad as we speak.

I dunno. I really don't. Bloody raining again.

Richard said...

Does it wrankle or rankle?

Vicus Scurra said...

Just to be clear.
I did not make my comments about Mr Straw with any reference to his views on Islam.
They were just the reaction to being bossed about by this odious, jumped-up little shit.
Let me make it clear that I don't care what people wear. It ain't news and neither are Mr Straw's views on the subject.
Although I wish dear old FE would wear flame-retardant shirts.

Richard said...

I wish it wasn't news either but then very little isn't is it.

Did you see the story about Prince in his favourite local strip club? He's been offering the girls money to stop getting their kit off. The club owner said something along the lines of "I don't know why he comes here. He doesn't drink, he doesn't like the music and now he doesn't want the girls to take their clothes off".

Sharon J said...

LOL (just thought I'd better put something incase I'm accusing of not getting it)

Pamela said...

Accuse me of not getting it. I'll admit to it.

The not getting it.

There. I feel better having gotten that off my chest.

Adam said...

Ah, Vicus! Good to see that you are still at it!

I cannot say the same for your Frontier Editor friend, however, as apparently he has committed suicide. Go check his blog if you don't believe me. His latest entry ended with "I kill myself" which is pretty much what my own political party has done lately anyhow.

Anyway, I just came by to announce the creation of MY NEW BLOG!!!1!!!11!!!! Which I'm sure you'll get a kick out of whenever I post something that wasn't designed with my age group (the under-90 crowd) in mind.

iytagjsc- Latest MySpace slang for a new blog.

Vicus Scurra said...

Adam! You old tart, we have all been missing you desperately. How are you? Have you graduated from 4th grade? You have your own political party? What's it called? So many questions, I think I have used up all the ?s on this computer.
I will go over to your blog forthwith, if not fifthwith.

Frontier Editor said...

Ah, Adam, obviously you're not old enough to have watched enough vintage Bugs Bunny in which the Brooklyn lepus often gets so convulsed in his own wittiness that he exclaims "I kill myself," or "I slay myself" or other variations. Seeing that so many of your own age have been protected by media watchdogs worried about kids not having a well-developed sense of irony, you have had to grow up with the likes of Tom Cruise in "Top Gun" exclaiming that "I crack myself up."

Not quite as droll as "I kill myself," but I suppose you work with the material given you.

Watch out being around your elders, Adam. Age and treachery beat youth and inexperience any day of the week.

By the way, your shoe's untied . . .

Adam said...

I know that it's just an expression, Mr. Editor. Way to kill the joke. JOKE KILLER! *shakes fist*

Oh well, not like that joke had much of a chance anyway...

uyskmwgz- Rare pigmy only found in the Canada's Northen Terrirories.

raincoaster said...

adam, with spelling like that you must be a Newfie.

Vicus Scurra said...

I feel strangely protective of Adam when others attack him. Although FE did make me laugh.
Raincoaster, do not be too harsh on his spelling. You know he is from the southern states of the USA, where he is one of the few to have a 'puter, even though it is up on blocks in his front yard. He is also the only contributor here to use a crayon in place of a keyboard.
Any more young folk out there like to join in?

Frontier Editor said...

Adam,

Please take what I said not as buzzkill but more like the ancient relationship between swordmaster and novice, where the master beats the novice either into submission or into a true weapon.

By the way, what's that on your shirt? Yes, right there . . . look down . . .

Vicus Scurra said...

FE, I feel, in keeping with the thrust of your last comment, that the time is coming when I must hand over to you the mantle of "Adam taunter". Be gentle with him, please.

Frontier Editor said...

Thank you for your trsut Vicus, but being gentle with young folk has already placed one congressional election in Florida on unstable terms.
Rude and distant might be a better approach with young master Adam, don't you think?

Vicus Scurra said...

I have never shied from a more intimate relationship, FE, as you can see here

Frontier Editor said...

Ah, the intimacy of a knife fight in a phone booth. I might be able to handle that.

Not to mention that I have a slight tactical advantage of familiarity with life at least 100 miles south of the Mason-Dixon line. That means my computer is up on industrial jackstands rather than cinderblocks

Ruth said...

Jack Straw's next interviewer should, politely, ask him to remove his trousers before the interview could commence...so much easier to communicate that way.
And he used to be a very good ENTS secretary, before he grew up and turned right.

Vicus Scurra said...

Ruth. Welcome. How nice to have a new friend.
Please, however, moderate your comments. There are those of us with the sort of imagination that creates mental images from the words left here.