Thursday, April 26, 2007

I shall treat those two impostors just the same

I attended a meeting in my village this evening, where someone addressed me by the name that I use here, rather than the silly pseudonym I use to conduct my worldly affairs. There are now at least two people in my village who can put my name and face together. Three if you count me, although I am notoriously unreliable. Much of my success in bringing you all news about the major events of the age are due to my being able to retain some degree of anonymity, and I am more than a little concerned that fame and glamour, which I have struggled to escape from over the years, are about to engulf me. I will try to keep things much as they are. I shall not repine.

I have been reading a rather wonderful book, which I recommend to you all. It is called “Fathers and Sons” by Alexander Waugh. I suggest you all obtain a copy, whether you know of the gentleman or not, and take your time to read it. Some parts I found rather dry, but on the whole it was most enjoyable. I will say nothing more lest I spoil the enjoyment of it for you. If you get a chance to see the television programme that was made about the book, then I recommend that to you also.

I see, courtesy of my friends at the BBC, that there has been some sort of contest to judge the world’s sexiest women. I am delighted to inform you (no, you silly bugger, I was not one of them) that of the top ten, I recognised the names of two of them, and would not be able to put a name to the face of any. Well, not the correct name, at any rate, I could probably make something up. It is indeed a welcome relief that I am no longer pursued by such people wherever I go.

My dear friend Richard has hinted elsewhere that he is hopeful of my turning my attention to the subject of Biros. I am not entirely sure whether he is serious, as he seemed less than interested in Dave’s wonderfully informative treatise about cake decoration or the songs of Billy Fury or some such, and may have been being a little sarcastic, a habit for which I have had to chastise him in the past. Unfortunately, I dare not take the risk of treating his request as frivolous. There would be dire consequences were I to handle cries for help in a trivial manner. A Biro is a make of ballpoint pen. In correct usage it does not mean any ballpoint pen, but only those made by the Biro Company. Then biro pen was named after its inventor, Mr Pen. I trust that this helps.

Perhaps someone can help me with a puzzle. Over these last few weeks several people have visited my pages after coming from this web page:
As far as I can tell, there is no link to me from there, nor, more importantly, is there any reason for there to be. That young lady is neither my mistress nor my daughter. If any of you can help me with this I will ask Dave to write you an essay on the subject of his choice.


Foilwoman said...

I'm sure there's a connection. A lot of people come to my site looking for maps of Greenland, but by posting this comment, I'm hoping to steer them over here. Certainly your world affairs visits will include a visit to Thule in February?

Dave said...

I fear that in June (when I will visit six or seven bloggers in the course of a trip south by southwest) I will call each by their blog alias rather than their given name.

I trust today's exciting post will generate rather more than the meagre 27 comments mine of yesterday did.

Richard said...

My main hits seem to be via pictures of fake dogshit (no kidding) and Jose Mourinho. I have been wondering if there's a connection.

If Miss Knightly is one of your many acquaintances please inform her I would gladly buy her a Wimpy any time she wants.

I, like the view said...

*just taking a break from the hoovering*

*sorry, vacuum cleaning*

I usually get google hits from people making the same spelling mistakes that I do

oh, and there are the ones for people searching the internet for grey pubes

Vicus Scurra said...

Foilwoman. My itinerary must remain confidential. Suffice it to say that I am familiar with the area.
Dave. There will be more comments.
26 of them may be written by me, but I do not see that as unfair.
Richard. Keira informs me that, by power of coincidence, Wimpy is the word that springs to mind when she thinks of you.
ILTV. Thanks for the tip about grey pubes. I know where to send people now.

Richard said...

Yes, yes. Unfortunately everyone over 6 stones looks like a gerry-built gable end to the poor waif.

Dave said...

I know you'll be fascinated to discover that today's exciting post at my place has already achieved a buck-passing response from the council (there's a surprise) and a request for details of my county cricket-playing past.

You will want to visit it tomorrow, as I talk about the future of Bowl Movement CC.

Vicus Scurra said...

David, I always want to visit your site. It fills me with awe and humility. It is these other buggers who think it is crap.

ziggi said...

I sorry Ken I don't know what you're going on about as usual

ziggi said...


missing, busy elsewhere wondering whether sellotape was invented by Mrs Tape.

raincoaster said...

Outed eh Vicus? That's what happens when you get all up in Melissa's face; that bitch will cut you. Them Tories is like that.

Vicus Scurra said...

That is unfair, raincoaster, Melissa is charming and ladylike, and I will never reveal her secret identity.

raincoaster said...

Pointless chivalry: Everybody already knows she's "The Hitch" anyway.