Sunday, November 29, 2009

I am not Zoe's boyfriend.

I have entered into a sophisticated debate (note that twitter only allows 140 characters, so that gives some degree of the level of sophistication) with dear old Brian Cox on Twitter about the large hadron collider.
He asserts, and acknowledges that it is reported on Fox News so responsible presentation of an argument is obviously of negligible account to him, that “Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat”.
I have pointed out the unfairness of this argument. Those of us who forecast that anything or anyone will destroy the world without defining a time frame will never have the satisfaction of saying “I told you so” when the prediction comes true. Let me say here and now, with complete conviction, that if the world ever ends, I will apologise to Margaret Thatcher. You have my word. Further I will donate £200million to anyone who correctly predicts the manner in which the world will be destroyed.
Professor Cox is the embodiment of the Schrodinger’s cat dilemma – he is a physicist, but I quite like him.

20 comments:

MJ said...

I will donate £200million to anyone who correctly predicts the manner in which the world will be destroyed.

Cosmic fart.

Please make cheque payable to Mistress MJ, Canada.

moreidlethoughts said...

Brian Cox...I think he used to beat a different drum, didn't he?

Tim Footman said...

I just remember him doing those fish pie adverts.

Vicus Scurra said...

MJ. I need your bank details to effect a bank transfer. There will be nowhere to send the cheque to when the world ends.
MIT - I believe so. I am not familiar with his contribution to the world of popular music.
Tim. He was quite good in goal for Huddersfield, too.

Dave said...

I am told that the answer lies within the Book of Revelation.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. Let me have the bank account details of St John.

Dave said...

He asks that you donate £199 million to the charity of your choice. He doesn't have a bank account, so suggests you send the balance to me in used notes, and I will pass it on the next time I see him.

Vicus Scurra said...

I hope you and old misery guts John are wrong, Dave. Bloody militant god-botherers have done enough damage throughout the short history of mankind, surely they should stop short of encouraging the destruction of the planet. I am not sure - I expect that you know much better than I - whether Revelation talks about the end of the world, or just the end of humanity. In either case I will send you the money within 10 working days of the end of the Apocalypse, should the events unfold in the manner described.

Dave said...

Fine. I shall make use of them in the new heaven and the new earth (Rev 21: 1).

Vicus Scurra said...

Willingly Dave. Although I don't think a million quid will get you very far - have you seen the spec for the building of the city? It makes me ill just to think of the council tax.

I, Like The View said...

so, no "real" timeframe for the end of the world then?

great, I'll get on with my xmas shopping

I, Like The View said...

(yurts)(I bet you don't have to pay much tax on one of those)

Christopher said...

I really enjoy coming here for top hole polemics from today's Nostradamus.

You could write innumerable cheques drawn on the Bank of Dubai for vast sums payable to anyone you wanted and seal them in a casket (to preserve the Revelations theme) together with samples of your DNA and other relevant body fluids. You could then be certain that humanity could eventually be reconstituted in your own image without your having had to apologize to Mrs T.

Vicus Scurra said...

Yes, Christopher, but I do not believe that we are much nearer to finding a valid cause of the end of the world:
MJ just thinks that saying "fart" is funny. Which it may well be.
I am very doubtful about the Revelation theme, and think that these horsemen have overblown opinions about their power. Their steeds may be capable of adding to the mounting piles of excrement that spoil the byways of North East Hampshire, but that is not the end of the world, it justs seems like it.
So, my money is still on Brian and his mates in Switzerland.
So, ILTV, there is no timeframe - I would counsel you to go ahead with your Christmas shopping, but if it includes 2010 calendars see if you can get a discount - the latter part may not be of any use.

Richard said...

It's not raining here.

Richard said...

btw, next WV = matters.

Rol said...

Brian Cox? Wasn't he the original Hannibal Lector? Say goodbye to your liver, Viccy.

Donn said...

This is waaaay over my head?
I had no idea that the Grand Damn Margaret Thatcher, Order of the Garter Snake, invented the LHC to destroy the world. I thought that she was into chemicals?

And now, a moment of silence for poor bloody Denis.

UberGrumpy said...

I blogged the LHC in limerick form the other day. Since you're unlikely to have the energy to pop over there, I laboriously repeat it here for your reading pleasure:

And lo! the Large Hadron Collider
Finally has protons inside 'er
She'll soon be the cause
Of new physical laws
Which will silence the folk who deride 'er

Et voila.

Zed said...

I am GUTTED. Yes, GUTTED. You promised me sex and now THIS?

Well let me tell the world this: Vicus has a tiny willy.