We had all been waiting patiently for an update from our reporters at ground zero, but MJ giggled incessantly throughout her audience and couldn't remember a thing afterwards, and Donn claims to have been forced to sign the Official Secrets Act and says that his conscience will not allow him to discuss the plans to take the USA back into the Commonwealth using huskies and the RCMP.
So I will just have to tell you the story myself
The royal couple had been advised that it was protocol to wear two poppies in Canada - one to commemorate the war dead, and one to apologise to the rest of the world for Celine Dion. Just after this picture was taken, Cams leapt on Chuck's back, shouted "Yee Haw!" and had to be restrained. The palace refused to comment on the "All fur coat and no knickers" stories in the less respectable parts of the press.
Donn assures Chuck that he had not gone to any trouble, and that he always dressed like this on a Tuesday.
"Can you repeat that more slowly please? We're cutting down on expenses and haven't brought an interpreter. It sounded as if you said something like 'How'd y'all like three foot of rusty sword up your sorry limey ass' but I've no idea what that means.
Trisha and Janice told the prince that they certainly did not want to know what he had in his pocket, and that he could expect to hear from their respective mothers. Meanwhile Camilla is curious to know exactly what the children had done wrong to be roped off.
In order to avoid frightening the last 7 pairs of mating "McKenzie's bison" in Manitoba, Camilla was given a sound proofed umbrella. "I can still see you, though" joshed Charles, "and it's put me off rumpy-pumpy for the night!"
Charles was crestfallen. Mummy had told him that he would be going on a boat trip round the Great Lakes, but when he got to Toronto he had to make do with the Mayor's photographs of the new 'water feature' in his yard.