Thursday, November 26, 2009

I've been in your family since 1532

"And what, Scurra" you may ask, "are you thankful for on this auspicious day?"
"Well," would be my riposte, "I am fucking thankful that at least one shitladen American tradition has not invaded these isles. We already have Hallowe'en, prom nights and baby showers, none of which were around in these parts when I was growing up, so let's hope that we maintain sufficient self-respect to resist this one. We already have one day a year where morons eat themselves even more fucking stupid on murdered poultry corpses, and the European fucking Song Contest. Let's hope that it stops here. What the fuck did we do to you, America, that we deserve to inherit your dross? Bastards! I'm glad we gave you Benny Hilll and Engelbert fucking Humperdinck."
love and peace.

17 comments:

dinahmow said...

May I quote you?

Clippy Mat said...

but how do you really feel?c

Vicus Scurra said...

Dinah. I would expect nothing less.
CM - do you really want to know? I am filled with joy and happiness, and looking forward to spending a day with some of my family. But please, please don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain.

Rog said...

I didn't see you at the Hampshire Prom Night? Were you at the baby shower? Has the restraining order elapsed?

Rol said...

You're just mad that they didn't have Prom Night when you were a girl. Imagine putting on your best ruff and dancing like it's 1899 to Handel. Irene, of course.

I, Like The View said...

so, would you like a slice of pumpkin pie?

Dave said...

It's Christmas in five weeks.

Christopher said...

I see you've been at the Dr Johnson again*. 1532? Never mind, a cup of tea coming up at 1600. One lump or two?


*"I am willing to love all mankind, except an American." (15th April, 1778)

Vicus Scurra said...

Oh no, Christopher. Not anti-American by any means. I am a multicultural, internationalist misanthrope.

Richard said...

Do think of your blood pressure. Eat more white meat.

Geoff said...

I'd toast some pilgrims if I knew where to find them.

Christopher said...

Yes, I should have picked up this nuance. Sorry. I will inform Dr Johnson.

Arabella said...

Are you kidding me? There was all-day 'Mythbusters' on the telly.

KAZ said...

Did they give us Christmas as well?
Or was that the Germans who also gave us our beloved Royal family?

Dave said...

I now learn it's only 4 weeks to Christmas.

Donn said...

Here in Cananda we are totally pooched because we are forced to adhere to both American and British Holidays!!

Well, except we don't have shiver out in the bloody rain and muck at Stonehenge to watch the neo-bloody-Druids riding the sacred-bloody-ostrich through the flaming-bloody-hoop on Equinox Day!

Robynn's Ravings said...

As a bonafide, card-carrying member of the Daughters of The American Revolution, I can tell you that it is your fault we, in America, exist here at all (we ARE you, after all).

We floated over here on scurvy boats just to escape your politics and were quite incensed about the whole thing. We've been trying to get even with you ever since and it would seem we are gaining the victory. Next you will tell me you're expecting but I will be civil and attend your baby shower - in my prom dress.