Sunday, November 01, 2009

Weeding out the troublemakers

I felt compelled to join the growing numbers of highly qualified experts who have resigned from the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs. My resignation letter is enclosed below. I trust that you will all respect the confidentiality.


Dear Alan

I am sorry to lay this heavy trip on you, man, but would it be cool if I split this scene? It’s kind of freaking me out, and I really want to be mellow and spend some time listening to the latest String Band album, if you can dig it. I can dig your vibe, right, but the only reason people have got it in for dope is that it is the people’s weed, man. The CIA and the KGB got together to try to control the supply (this is true, Steve told me) but they couldn’t stop all the brothers and sisters who were growing their own. I think that it would be far out if you stopped trying to mess with our heads, man, and realised that no harm ever came out of a few joints. Wow, man, if you just turned on, tuned in and dropped out in the cabinet meetings it would be too fucking much.

Love, peace and move away from the towers.

Scurra.

P.S. You know what would be really cool? To rename the Committee “The Advisory Council for Information about Drugs”. (geddit?)




You will all realise that the only way that a committee can advise on drugs is to get totally stoned. Otherwise there is no objective way of forming a view. The BBC have tried to cover up this truth, for example when they reported the sacking of Professor Nutt (crazee name, crazee guy) they said:
“The professor said smoking cannabis created only a "relatively small risk" of psychotic illness.”
I have corrected the punctuation:
“The professor said, smoking, cannabis created only a "relatively small risk" of psychotic illness.”

11 comments:

I, Like The View said...

call me boring but I think the government and the media dosn't spend enough time discussing the dangers of drugs

Vicus Scurra said...

You are boring.

Dave said...

How does one misuse a drug?

Vicus Scurra said...

Well, Dave, someone once told me to take a suppository - for all the good it did me, I may as well have ....
Readers! You can vote now, which is older, that joke, or Dave?

I, Like The View said...

erm, I'll avoid that subject

but to continue the previous one, I have two or three more (probably still boring) thoughts

one is that I know a parent whose teenage child threw himself/jumped out of a third floor window as a direct result of a pyschotic episode resulting from smoking "skunk". . . his legs broke his fall, not his back or his neck

on the other hand I understand and have experienced what people do when drunk

since I only smoke nicotine and I don't drink, I have no personal experiences to relate and quite obviously am not an expert on the debate

however if I did and was employed, or my knowledge sought, on that basis, I'd be slightly miffed if I spoke my mind and "people" didn't appreciate/agree with what I said because I wasn't "towing the party line"

oh, this is pointless, isn't it

(the joke is probably older than Dave)

Boz said...

Drugs... people are using them all wrong.

I don't really do drugs any more, but I'm fairly certain I'm slowly killing myself with red wine.

I believe it's called drug misuse because you can also 'misuse' prescription drugs. Factoid!

Rog said...

I think this is a case of heads you lose.

Vicus Scurra said...

Rog. very good B++

Richard said...

I find it quite easy to sit around talking unitelligible bollocks all day without making the local gangsta rich.

Why on earth does everyone think fish are so funny?

Donn w/2nz said...

Far out Man!

Hey kids!
Score goals NOT drugs!

Tor Hershman said...

As Firesign Theatre said, "Tonight's sermon on drugs."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjK_yVdGNGk