A friend of mine at court reveals the real reason for Liz’s absence from the civil ceremony. She is embarrassed by her aging spouse, and in particular his habit, which she admits privately is deliberate, of breaking wind explosively at the most inappropriate moments.
On most occasions, where formal functions are held in large halls or auditoria, the effect is minimised. At royal banquets, the guests put it down to the peculiar ingredients or the traditional horrors of British cookery. Things are so bad, that in the post-prandial period, the corgis are fitted with miniature gas masks. These events are heralded by shouts of “LIFTOFF!” or “Bombs away!” in a croaky old voice and this is a signal for members of the household to take cover. Even in the last years of her life, the queen mother could cover 50 yards in little over 15 seconds when news of her son in law approaching reached her. Zimmer frames were abandoned all around Clarence House, gin bottles tipped over, creating lakes of sticky fluid, causing unfortunate rumours to abound about her lack of control, but anything was better than being caught in the fallout zone.
This is all very well, but the prospect of this happening in a confined area such as a registry office was too much for Liz to contemplate, hence her withdrawing on the grounds that she had to open a vinegar processing plant in
One fact about the duke of