I am currently reading Mr Bryson’s splendid tome ‘A Short History of Nearly Everything’. And jolly good it is too, like most of the rest of his work.
The trouble is, even though he takes great pains to explain current thinking on physics and its so-called laws, I do not believe any of it.
I have had this trouble all my days. I could compose and sing the Physics blues, and given my vocal talents, these blues would depress the listener even more than the contributions of Messrs Robert Johnson and Howlin Wolf.
At school I sat in anticipation of the day that Mr Sutton would come in and tell us that everything we had learned so far had been an elaborate jape on his part, and the real stuff would now begin. He never did, and neither did his successors. I should have guessed that someone so apparently humourless could not keep a straight face for so long.
Yes, dear reader, he really believed all that guff. None of it made any sense to me. I don’t believe in gravity, the Big Bang, electricity, waves, particles or any of it. I suppose that I am still hoping that a cosmic version of Mr Sutton will come along and tell the human race that they have been barking up the wrong supernova for far too long, and the real laws of physics have been recorded by the Blenkinsop family of Halifax for the last 400 years, and are now to be made available to the rest of the world’s population.
Mark my words, in a century or two, the scientists of the day will be proving that the theories of Einstein, Hubble, Bohr et al were as misguided and as inaccurate (albeit very clever) as the way that we view the attempts of Pythagoras and his pals to explain the mechanics of the universe.
I call upon all students of the world to write the words “Schrödinger was a twat” on their exercise books, and refuse to have anything to do with learning physics until such time as someone says something sensible about it.