I was a little preoccupied today, by having Liz on the telephone, fretting about all this fuss over her being too moody to cross the road for the crass event of the year. "Don't take any notice, duck," I said in my most reassuring voice, "I'm not going either". April the 8th, they must be barmy. New Zealand are playing Sri Lanka, and the West Indies are playing South Africa on that day. "I'll be lucky if I get out of my chair to go for a pee", I told her. She chuckled, she has a certain scatological frame of mind, best illustrated by the occasion when she left a dog turd on William Hague's chair at a banquet at Sandringham. "Bugger them all," she said, and I think I detected a slight sob, " the silly sod is over 50 now, and should be able to cross the pigging road without his mother."
I asked her whether my old friend Mark could have her place, but she evaded the question. I think that she is a little jealous of all the attention that Charles is getting. I even pressed the case for Broomhilda to officiate, but that didn't go down too well either. There's no pleasing some people is there?
7 comments:
Vicus your thoughtfulness knows no bounds. I would not have been able to officiate on that day anyway. As you are probably aware there will be a solar eclips occuring. It is the only time that I can gather a certain herb that I need. It is a complicated proceedure involving an hanging upside down by one foot from a willow tree while swinging an unconcieved infant clockwise and chanting "iama dict idto bul shi tit" three times before gathering the herb.
Terribly thoughtful of you, dear boy. Let me know if old Lizzie has a change of heart. Perhaps I could bring my camera and take slightly weird snaps of the occasion. Of course it would be much better if we could persuade Broomhilda to relocate as well. I'm sure there's a willow tree in Windsor somewhere, and I know a couple of lighting engineers who ought to be able to drum up a solar eclipse no trouble son...
My dear readers (a Mrs Trellis of North Wales) might be interested to follow my support of the queen over on Boris Johnson's weblog today.
I'm scurrying over there post-haste, agog with excitement...
Uh-huh. Great debate. I love Boris's blog. It gives you a chance to unsheath the old claws every once in a while...
Nice to have some support over there. Thanks, Mark.
Now, about that awful idiot Roger Whitaker....
I won't hear a word said against our Rog.
(Correspondent purses lips and emits a pained squeal)
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