I am grateful again to my friends at the BBC for the information that the new Drugs Minister – I am not sure if that is his official title – once smoked marijuana.
What intrigued me was his name, and I am not sure why no one has drawn this to my attention, viz. Vernon Coaker. It appears that he was born for the job.
Were I to be PM, and I fail to understand why that has not yet happened, then I would insist that my drugs minister had full first hand experience of all the narcotics that were within his remit. I am not sure what my policy on drugs would be - to make compulsory, encourage, control, restrict or abolish their use. I am sure, however, that my drugs minister would be too fucking stoned to care.
Would you appoint an education secretary who had never been to school? Would you appoint a minister of defence who had never ripped a man apart with his bare hands? Would you elect a president who couldn’t find his ass with both hands, a map and a search party?
I am reminded of my dear friend Dave, who left his mortal coil some time ago, and who has still not been replaced. He told me of finding a new job.
“And what is your job title?” I ventured.
“Youth outreach worker – drugs and sexual health”.
I found this more than a little amusing.
“If I were a troubled youth, and came to you and said ‘A man tried to sell me some drugs in a pub’, what would your response be?”
“I would say ‘What was the name of the pub?’”