Monday, May 08, 2006

Thanks to some of my visitors, I find myself a source of information for “dogging sites in Hampshire” on some of the search engines.

Well, as my readers seem to prefer threads about seedy sex rather than my contributions to literature, the arts and philanthropy, allow me to list some of the well known sites for such activities. I trust this will be of help to tourists.

  • On the roundabout in Basingstoke.
  • Andover High Street
  • The beach at Southsea.
  • The lawn outside police headquarters in Southampton.
  • The girl’s clothing section in BHS, Portsmouth
  • The nave of Winchester cathedral.

Let me know how you get on. That is, let me know whether this was helpful, rather than a description of some bizarre mounting.

I also had someone from Australia coming here after searching for “Sainsbury yoghourt”. Yes, we all know what you wanted it for, you pervert.

33 comments:

tom909 said...

Ah Vicus, you amaze me with how in tune you are with the mood of your readership. I am planning to visit Hampshire shortly and this list will surely save me hours and hours of precious time.
On the subject of dogging, I am somewhat surprised that it has acheived such popularity. I remember years ago etc.etc

Mark Gamon said...

Which roundabout in Basingstoke? There are dozens.

Vicus Scurra said...

Mark, I knew someone would fall for that one, but didn't think it would be you.

Richard said...

Queen's Park (or Queens Park) in Crewe is also meant to be a favourite venue. I live opposite the park gates and have never noticed any goings on on the numerous occasions I have investigated.

krusty the baker said...

I buy my knickers at Marks&Spankers; do you think they will lay on the same entertainments?

Good stuff!

Cherrypie said...

Now that's a dating option I haven't tried yet although I always slow from the obligatory 80mph when traversing Mortal Ash Hill, our local Crufts of the dogging world.

Sadly, my position on the newly-formed Housing Board renders any opening salvos in that direction useless if I wish to avoid naming-and-shaming in the Evening Telegraph ( although it appears to be the very time that politicians and premiership footballers take up the hobby).

I shall continue to glean my meagre vicarious kicks from your informative and thought-provoking posts for the foreseeable future. x

ppoylh - RAC rescue-worker drawn unwittingly into al fresco deviances

MJ said...

One of your visitors in search of "dogging sites in Hampshire" may have been that bloke who plays Phil Mitchell in EastEnders. He's probably in need of some new locations.

tom909 said...

What saddens me is in the old days we were just glad to get a shag.

Mark Gamon said...

Why is it called dogging? I don't think it has anything to do with dogs.

Tom - I remember reading in the News of the World round about 1967 how all the hippies were having orgies at Middle Earth and wondering if my mum would let me go. Sadly, by the time I reached full orgy-going age the practice had died out. Dogging doesn't appeal as a substitute, even assuming they'd have me: hippie orgies were so much more colourful, somehow.

Also, they weren't orgies. The News of the World made that part up.

Mark Gamon said...

Richard - I've been to Crewe. Are you sure it's warm enough for dogging?

Richard said...

Yes, Mark. They are made of very stout fibres up here. As I mentioned in a comment elsewhere, the locals resort to short sleeves and Bermudas the first dry day in January, regardless of the temperature.

While returning from a late shift several years ago, I encountered a neighbour "entertaining" several gentlemen from the back of a pick-up parked in the turning area at the top of my street. I didn't stop to investigate.

Sharon J said...

Mark. It's called dogging because blokes use walking the dog as an excuse to nip over to roundabouts, church naves or wherever and what the goings ons.

Richard. Does this explain why you took a sudden interest in walking Poppy regularly a few months back, but gave up after a few weeks?

Sharon J said...

No, the don't 'what' the goings ons at all... although maybe the could if they really wanted to. They 'watch' the goings ons.

unqdudah - word used when one doesn't remember one's uncle's name.

Sharon J said...

Oh shit! I can't type for peanuts today! Not that I'd want peanuts because they tend to fly out of my system like bullets and we really can't afford new bathroom porcelain at the moment.

Mark Gamon said...

Sharon - I was just about to congratulate you on your comprehensive grasp of the swinging lifestyle. Then, in that last post, you provided too much information altogether...

Eiuoga. I've no idea really, but I fully expect him to be making an appearance for the Ivory Coast at the forthcoming World Cup festivities.

Richard said...

I know Mark. She has no shame whatsoever.

As regards the dog walking, you may remember that several nights it was sub zero and also pouring with rain and one would have to be extremely dedicated to expose ones nethers in such conditions. I could equally level the argument about your sudden desire for a donner kebab at 11.30 several times during the month. Eh? Eh?

raincoaster said...

How does dogging relate to tomcatting? Or has that Runyonesque practice died out entirely?

Kyahgirl said...

shall I make popcorn and we can all pull up a chair and watch Sharon and Richard hash it out? Its better than Coronation street!

p.s. around here, 'dogging it' means 'doing as little as possible'. Nothing to do with sex, except the other saying for doing nothing is 'fucking the dog'. I have no idea where that comes from.

Richard said...

raincoaster, dogging isn't tomcatting in the strictest sense of the word. It refers to the practice whereby couples engage in open-air mating, usually in cars and invariably with an audience. The audience is oftentimes invited to participate.

This activity is different in two major ways to the kind of frantic shufflings usually undertaken in cars. Firstly, in dogging the engagement is invariably of a Clintonesque format as it will usually entail a "money shot" to post on the inevitable website and secondly, while you may well invite interest from the occasional passer-by in your local lover's lane, your audience won't usually comprise former premiership footballers or soap stars.

Mark Gamon said...

We're all demonstrating an alarmingly high level of interest in this subject, aren't we?

tom909 said...

Yes Mark, you are quite right to point this out. You just can't get away from sex these days. Yet again this morning I woke up as horny as ever and I'm sure it's all down to the unfortunate circle of friends I have built up on here over the last few weeks.

Richard said...

I'm so glad I don't use an avatar.

Mark Gamon said...

Tom is now suffering from Sharon syndrome: a tendency to provide us all with TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

tom909 said...

Mark, I take your point (cue Vicus). Sadly I realised my mistake too late to correct it. I have asked Vicus to delete my comment but the price he is demanding in return is just too high to pay. I will suffer my embarrassment like the true man I am.

Mark Gamon said...

Why, Richard? Is it because we'll all get the hots for you?

I promise I won't, by the way.

bbcqwwo. An unfortunate side effect of the proliferation of digital television.

Cherrypie said...

Of course, dogging is so last year. Toothing is the thing nowadays.

Fortunately no-body over the age of 27 knows how to work a mobile phone so it'll never catch on with the oldies.

Vicus Scurra said...

What's a mobile phone?

Kyahgirl said...

jesus, what the hell is 'toothing' it?

Richard said...

Sorry to burst your bubble on this one, Cherrypie but toothing appears to be a bit of a hoax:

http://www.wired.com/news/wireless/0,1382,62687,00.html


For the curious it involved the bluetooth function on mobiles to send messages without knowing the addressees name. It's not that simple as if my phone's anything to go by one needs to invite and then confirm the link before you can send something so it's not really that anonymous.

Mark Gamon said...

I have enough trouble just making a phone call...

raincoaster said...

I suppose you've already done Rainbow Parties?

Cherrypie said...

Richard - you are incredibly knowledgeable about all these seedy practices. I had understood that Huddersfield was the S&M/ Swingers Capital of Briatain, but I'm wondering if it's lost its mantle to Crewe.

Have you any idea what Rainbow Parties are? Didn't David Icke have something to do with it?

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you all, you great bottom-fondling yak molesters. I am now the number one target on the internet for virtually every perversion known to man.
I have just been visited by
"tied fellated"
"loser monarch of norway animal house"
and
"pythagoras+breaking wind"
Heaven only knows what next week will bring.
And then I send a nice photograph to young Geoff to help to illustrate his latest prose epic, and he informs me that it had the effect of "helping me dislodge the contents of my stomach."