Monday, June 19, 2006

Rolf Harris notwithstanding

I have noticed the lack of correspondents from Australia here. I guess that they are too busy living to bother with writing about it. I am not normally one for generalised racial stereotypes, but I did notice this little gem from my pals at the BBC, talking about the cane toad problem:
"
Animal welfare groups have said that the humane way to get rid of these invaders is to put them into a freezer until they die."
I suppose that Alcoholics Anonymous Australia will be promoting the message, "quit whingeing, and get one down your neck".

48 comments:

tom909 said...

Reluctant as I am to destroy this thread by contributing my serious thoughts as the first post, I feel duty-bound to state my point of view on the thorny issue of the cane toad. Sadly I don't have one, so that's it folks.

Dave said...

Did you mean 'Alcohols'?

If you did, and it's a very subtle witty remark about our antipodean cousins' drinking habits, I withdraw this comment.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave, thank you, I have altered the mistake.
I am arranging a sermon heckling trip to Norfolk in the coming weeks. Any takers?

Dave said...

I am sure that you, like me, wish your blog to be polished and free from any flaws or imperfections.

After all, when one has been up all night writing and re-writing one's postings, it does get annoying when odd things creep in, doesn't it?

This comment is in no way intended to reflect upon those who comment on this, or any other blog.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave, my postings are nothing but 'odd things'.
Please inform me if I ever post anything sensible.

jromer said...

dave!!??? whatever do you mean staying up all night writing and rewriting blog posts?? i'm doing no such thing! i'm (wheeze) not sure (gasp) what you're getting at! ...[ sliding into dead faint ]

tom909 said...

If I had been Mr and Mrs Romer I would definitely have named my baby Anne, not Jan. Geddit! But then they were probably in shock what with the half a face and so on...

jromer said...

tom909, i've got to admit, i don't understand the whole anne not jan bit. at the risk of looking less than stellar, i'm asking you to explain that one to me. i'm intrigued because you've hit upon two of my names. and yet, we haven't met, have we?

tom909 said...

I once had a friend called Mr R.Sole. I just love that kind of thing. I'll get my coat.

jromer said...

ah.

Vicus Scurra said...

I guess that Tom meant "Anna".
Please do not turn this thread into a funny names section.
I have nothing against that sort of thing really, and quite enjoy it, but let's do it over on Tom's blog if we have to.
Let's get back to the Antipodeans and their sensitivity.

tom909 said...

Hang on Vicus, only yesterday you were telling me off for trying to stick to the subject.

Vicus Scurra said...

OK, Tom, I give in. Let's have some funny names.
And if the owners of those names come over here to complain, they will know that I didn't start it.
Just had a phone call from Wayne Kerr.

tom909 said...

Here are a few of my childhood favourites.
Eilleen Dover
Major Bumsaw - he was actually an author who wrote the bestseller 'Forty days in the saddle'
Ivor Bollockov
Ivan Elovanitch
Tony Hancock

Vicus Scurra said...

Oh fuck.

tom909 said...

Then there was the boy in our class called Richard Head.

Vicus Scurra said...

I feel a strange affinity with Henry II.

Interpreter Pavlov said...

Can't do much to correct the antipodean imbalance from here, but I don't mind adressing you as 'cobber' or 'sport' if that would help.

Is tom909 a man of the cloth, too?

Pamela Troeppl said...

Anna, we're never going to fully understand our boys from across the pond.

I think they sort of like it that way.

Mark Gamon said...

My current favourite is Brazil's new striker:

Fred.

Now THAT's a funny name.

Can't stop long. My server people seem to be continuing their upgrade. One more day of this and I will go to their offices with a milk bottle full of petrol.

jromer said...

my friend suggested Howie Feltersnatch

Vicus Scurra said...

JRomer, I think your friend would fit in here quite nicely.
I am concerned about you.

Kyahgirl said...

i suppose you could put any living creature into the freezer until it died and call it a humane death. I think a human might suffocate before getting hypothermia so you'd better not try it unless you're prepared to weight down the lid so they can't fight their way out. Why would anyone want to kill a poor innocent toad? I'm stuck on humans.

Oh, and since we're being all literary and high brow, who wrote 'The Wet Bed"

I.P. Nightly of course.

bye now.

Carmenzta said...

I once knew a guy named Oscar Butts. And I also knew a woman named Reina Cerda, which is Spanish translates to Queen Pig. For real...

What are Antipodeans?

Carmenzta said...

Oh wait! I also know a guy called Richard Badcock.

muqorx - What comes out on your Kleenex tissue when you sneeze.

kat said...

Carmenzta, they are members of the Society Against Podeans.

zglwaax-Podean ear wax, sold to Bush as a potential alternative energy source.

Richard said...

I was at a company function once and really was introduced to a gentleman rejoicing in the name of Michael Hunt. And yes, I do know the head groundsman at Lords also goes by that name. Mind you, having been blessed with a combination of fore and surnames that often invites frivolous jocularity, I fail to see the funny side of it all and I think you're all a bunch of Wayne Kerrs (Sharon knew him).

Dodderyoldfart said...

Strewth!

Cone or Stick, or between pink vanilla slices ?

Vicus Scurra said...

DOF, I see that you have special insight, being just across the river from Australia. It had not occured to me that there was an underlying reason for despatching these poor creatures in such an unusual way, but I suppose they are the main ingredients in Australias national dish.

Still no Australia response. I note from the same article that someone had suggested bludgeoning cane toads with cricket bats. I suppose they would have to find someone out there who knew how to play cricket. Very tough.

Dave said...

It had never crossed my mind before, but of course, those in North America don't think of Australians as antipodeans. Presumably that term applies to India?

*Runs off to find globe, to see what's opposite the USA*

tom909 said...

Surely the contributor of the name 'Howie Feltersnatch' is worthy of a nomination for the Vicus Scurra Order of merit.

tom909 said...

'Have you got a glass, Dick'.
'No, actually it's erectile tissue, like everyone else's'.

Dave said...

Oh well Tom, if we're getting down to those sort of levels, I wrote on my blog yesterday about people who have read Marx.

Carmenzta said...

Ok I looked up "Antipodeans" on wikipedia and we are ALL antipodeans because wherever we live we are on the opposite side of some part of the world. Nice try to confuse me, Vicus.

Dave said...

Ahem. It was, I believe, I who used the word Antipodean, not our esteemed blog-host.

Glad to have helped in the education of one of our ex-colonial cousins.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave, you will never, ever get down to Tom's level. I have looked down on it long and hard, and if you drop a pebble, you will never hear a splash.

Tom, yes JRomer is the winner of the competition that I never wanted. Despite never wanting the competition, her contribution is so clearly outstanding, that I will be employing her as consultant when I wish to effect a different sobriquet.

Now, as you all know, I do not approve of racial stereotyping, but it does appear that with the exception of my lovely commenters here (who between them raise the mean IQ of the United States inhabitants into double figures), no-one in the USA has any idea where any other country is, let alone what is on the opposite side of the world.

Carmenzta said...

Vicus,
I apologize for my earlier accusation of you trying to confuse me. I may just have to admit to being permanently confused through no one else's fault but my own. Thank you, Dave for clearing that up. However, I love geography and it's not true that all colonials are clueless about where things are on this orb, though I admit that most are. BTW Vicus, race has nothing to do with it, it's either ethnicity or culture.

Pamela Troeppl said...

Hey, I know where things are. Or I used to. Does that count?

Pamela Troeppl said...

wmHey, I know where things are. Or I used to. Does that count?

Cherrypie said...

I'm with Richard on the funny names thing. My parents claim they thought long and hard before picking my first name, checking the initials didn't spell anything funny etc.

It was only when I got a name plate on my office door some years ago, that the ridicule started.

I have never been married; my first name does begin with C although it isn't quite Cherry; my surname is Leaning.

Every night for 7 f***ing years the cleaner would put her head round my door and quip " I see I don't have to do in here then!"

I apologise if I've moane about that before, but it still smarts.

Cherrypie said...

d

wvkikrch - Russian ancestor of the editor, nicknamed "The Wicked"

tom909 said...

Well. I'm gutted that the funny names section is over - I was enjoying that and it's hardly got started. I suppose we will now be moving on to some high brow fucking topic that I know fuck all about as usual.
Still it gives me a challenge getting it back to some kind of level so I can join in.

Mike said...

Aha - I've worked out why your feed don't work ... you're using Microsoft Word to type it in arentcha?

It's buggering it all up for ya ... well for me coz I wanna be fed!

ifyaslj - txt'ing for, "If you slow John"

Pamela Troeppl said...

Tom, your potty mouth is going to be a problem if we're ever going to make a go of it dear. :grin:

Vicus Scurra said...

Yes, Mike, don't understand why that stops the feed. Having established a reputation as a pedant I find it necessary to run a spell check in case some of the curmudgeons here find a tiny typo.
Pamela, it is more likely to be the rest of his face that causes a problem.

Dave said...

I too use word. I am told by those who understand these things that word and blogger don't mix due to the hidden codes at the end of word documents.

However, I don't seem to have any problems, perhaps because of my cunning plan:

I have a Word document which I use as a virtual notebook to jot down ideas for blog entries, witty titles etc. I then write each day's entry at the start of this document, and cut and paste just that bit into Blogger.

I've never had any trouble - but of course I never get to the end of the document, where presumably these hidden codes are secreted.

Mike said...

Blogger's got a spll chucker. Heck, I'll just have to visit you instead of having the wee postcard-like notifications ...

Frontier Editor said...

I'm far too late for any competition, but I did go to high school with a girl named Rose Bush.