Dear old Tom has requested that we move away from sordid topics and on to something a little more informative, thus excusing him, on the grounds of profound ignorance, from having to contribute. I doubt whether we will deter him, he has persistently blighted my life for many a year, and now appears intent to irritate my new imaginary friends by making cheap and lurid remarks of a sexual nature about them.
Dear Pavlov recently reminded us all, in the customary erudite and perspicacious way, that the anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo had occurred. I thought I would see what had happened in history on this day, and explain some of the significance of it to you. On journeying over to the entirely error free Wikipedia site, I find that nothing happened on June 21st that has the slightest bearing on anything, and so I am obliged to write a little about Edward III who died on this day in 1377.
I did not study the Plantagenets, and so am forced to rely upon my frail memory, together with the material supplied at Wikipedia. I knew that Edward was not the one purportedly killed by the insertion of a red hot poker in his bottom. That was his father, Edward II, and the historians at wikipedia describe this well-known historical fact as ‘mythical’, thus depriving him of his most notable achievement other than the defeat at
Dear readers, (aMToNW), who would you like to dispatch to the next world by means of the insertion of a red hot poker?
Edward III (strange surname, isn’t it?) had an altogether more seemly passing. According to wikipedia, he died of a stroke brought on by severe constipation. It is gratifying to note that the dignity that is the chief characteristic of our current dear royal family can be traced back over so many years. Unfortunately, Eddy was not as witty in his accounts of this as Danny, at least as far as surviving manuscripts can be trusted.
Edward’s son was the Black Prince, whose hobbies included flower arranging, home improvement, cake decoration and kicking seven shades of shit out of the French. You will be surprised to know that he was not black, and it is therefore unlikely that he will be played by Snoop Dogg in the upcoming film of his life, and was not known as the black prince during his lifetime. He was known as Edward of Woodstock, and could be seen of a summer evening going from place to place (in between being rather unpleasant to anyone of a gallic background) exhorting them to ‘move away from the towers’ and ‘avoid the brown acid’, and describing his dream of ‘breakfast in bed for 400,000’.