My old friend Tom has taken time off from his job as fiction reviewer in “Sheep Gelding Fortnightly” to request more literary discussion here.
Tedious, ungrammatical, unoriginal and tasteless crap from someone old enough to know better.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Today's prep - a 1000 word composition.
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15 comments:
I said "The poet Keats: twat or what?"
Are you sure you want to know?
Vicus, do I even need to answer this one. How can a poet not be a twat!
Pamela, you are professional writer, what is your view on "Ode on a Grecian Urn"?
Tom, there was me building you up to be a bestower of wisdom about the written word, and you give a trite, simplistic answer.
None of you have got anywhere near the 1000 word mark yet.
I can see that I will have to get my punishment book out. And not the one by Keats.
"Ode ON a Grecian Urn?" Sounds painful.
My vote: twat
Also I thought Tom's answer was direct and to the point. Two great qualities...
I didn't say 'what?'. I said 'what'. 999 more words to expand upon my answer follow as soon as I've finished rescuing this fallen lady.
A thousand words where ten will do. Who do you think I am, fucking Shakespeare.
Twas indeed raincoaster who announced a serious allergy to the works of Mr. FfuckingtweeImeanfford.
As a professional writer I of course want to know whether you pay by the word or by the finished article. A thousand words...I'm not sure you can afford us.
I refer, of course, not only to the other posters here but to all the many voices in my head.
You have voices too? Splendid. I'm not the only one then.
Of course I didn't start hearing them until I 'met' Tom and Vicus.
And being a professional writer, I'd never call anyone the T word.
Twwh.
The T word? Tom? Is he that bad?
Pavlov. Once again I am in awe of your widelyreadness.
I am beginning to expect, however, that you may not have many friends. And that people may try to avoid sitting next to you on long distance flights.
You are very welcome here, however, pull up a chair, get comfortable, and tell us all about the architecture of eighth century Samarkand.
In answer to your query, I can see no merit in Keats. I don't know what he was writing about, and I suspect that neither did he. Part of this view is based on prejudice. The phrase "the poet Keats" was a, for reasons I never clearly understood, a running theme in my school semi-underground magazine.
'tis not David but Stephen.
'tis not Coleridge but his ruddy big house.
More laudanum less poetry!
Steve, Dave, who's to tell?
Apologies. I hope that you are still my new friend anyway.
Keats: slightly less well-known was his sideline as an end-of-the-pier comedian (in the off-season). It was at Skegness that he first penned his famous 'What's a Greek urn?' skit.
Not noted for his humour, it was another five years (he was appearing at Cromer by then) that the punchline 'About five drachma' came to him.
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