Saturday, May 15, 2010

George's new job - Part 3

George did not understand Dave’s new joke, which was to refer to his friend William as the “foreign secretary”. William wasn’t even a girl, (George was fairly certain of that, what with William being bald and having a deep voice and all) and as far as George knew, William came from Yorkshire.

George knew that Yorkshire was in England, and that although the people spoke in that funny, lower-class northern way, they still spoke English, even though they obviously hadn’t been in Mr Pomphrey’s English class at Eton, and probably didn’t know how to conjugate.

George didn’t really know how to conjugate either, but at least he knew how to speak in a manner that led some people to think that he must be clever.

Dave’s jokes often baffled George, and so he had adopted the strategy of laughing at everything Dave said. This appeared to be a fairly safe option, because lots of other people laughed at Dave. Unfortunately, Dave did not like this.

It seemed very strange to George that Dave should pick on William, because Dave was always talking about equality and all of that stuff, and was very cross when George laughed at this.

Dave had even allowed the charwoman, a Mrs Wotsit, to sit down at the cabinet meeting with all of the important people, and was very nice to her. He even told George off when George asked Mrs Wotsit to iron the curtains before the next meeting, because they had creases.

George was very upset about this, and secretly thought that Dave didn’t want her to iron the curtains because she was foreign looking, and they probably didn’t have curtains (or irons) where she came from.

George decided to ask his new friend Vince to check whether Mrs Wotsit was in the UK legally.

Vince told him that her name wasn't "Mrs Wotsit", but "Baroness Warsi", as if that made any difference.


George and his friends from the press were dying for William to open his mouth and say something funny and northern. George was afraid that if William didn't say "By 'eck" or something soon, he would probably have to change his pants.


4 comments:

Dave said...

Bet you can't keep this up for the next five years.

Mr VeryVeryBored said...

Which will last longer - Lib/Con govt or Vicus's witticisms. The smart money is on Mr Vicus.

arwriter said...

dave, i bet he can.
mr. v.v.b. yes, my money's on mr. scurra

Tim Footman said...

The only thing that will stop Vicus is if Osborne turns out not to be a complete cock.

Easy.