Thursday, May 27, 2010

You make me feel so young

Thank you for indulging me these last two weeks, while I told you all about George. I think that it is perhaps time to give him a rest, as he has some jolly important decisions to be made for him, and could do with a nap.

However, I find myself still focussing on politics and have found a new interest in said bed of dung. Hardly a day passes when I am not to be found COLing (cussing out loud) at one form of electric medium or another. Only yesterday you may have observed me, had you been in the vicinity of the A325 at Buck’s Horn Oak, using all sorts of ungentlemanly language at dear old Liz during her little speech. I know that these displays, particularly in public and in Jane Austen Country, are unseemly and serve no purpose other than to stabilise my blood pressure, but it is nice to have a reason to get up in the morning.

I calmed down, and even while watching slimy Dave on the electric television, I thought he did quite well, considering*, I remained tuned in despite drifting in and out of consciousness during old Kaufmann’s ramblings, but finally succumbed to the desire to stave off the grim reaper when Beith tossed in his two penn’orth.

Then I got quite cross again with Boris and the Brian Haw story. For the benefit of those of you of a foreign disposition, I shall briefly tell you something of Brian Haw.

Brian Haw is a loony. He is the sort of fellow most of you would cross the street to avoid. However, for the last eight years or more he has undertaken a protest against the UK’s involvement in war(s) in Iraq and Afghanistan. His protest has been conducted close to parliament. Latterly he has been joined by several more pacificists, hippies some or all of whom may also be loonies, who have formed a small encampment in Parliament Square. Like most of you, I would probably not want Brian and his mates camping in my garden, however sympathetic I may be to his views (although I have allowed Tom to stay at my house on more than one occasion. Call me sentimental). Boris has taken the view that the Square was being damaged.

What is distasteful about this as much as anything is the timing. While his new slimy friend was across the road telling the nation about a new era of politics, in which freedom and fairness was to be at the forefront, Boris instructed Inspector Knacker and his men to clear a demonstration for peace and freedom in a less than sensitive manner.

This morning, (Wednesday 26th) without a trace of irony, we had that prize rectum Gove telling us that in order to eliminate bureaucracy schools could apply to become academies, but in order to do that needed to produce a “business plan”.

Congratulations, Gove, you tit. I thought I had long ago given up all hope of education in this country exciting my passions, geared as it is to produce 4 trillion unemployable business studies and marketing graduates each year. But no, here I am feeling the urge to shout “fuck off” every time I see your hideously deformed visage or listen to words flow through your just-begging-to-be-throttled neck. A school is not a fucking business, you twat. Fuck off.

* considering that he is an arsebrained, mendacious, slimy pig turd.


I, Like The View said...


Dave said...


Tim Footman said...

You love Gove. You want to marry him.

arwriter said...

your blood circulation must be reaching an epic level. all you have to do is glance at the telly. yes?

Richard said...

Although we differ slightly on a few points it is heartening to see that our reactions on hearing Gove calling schools businesses were more or less identical. I hazard that neither of us are being entirely truthful and that perhaps several more oaths of a purely predictable nature were also mouthed. This is precisely the kind of thing I have been warning my daughter's friends through the medium of Facebook, some of whom actually thought there was a certain novelty in having Tories in power, would happen.

Christopher said...

How, how I wish you had been alive and writing in the days of Lord North. (Dave has just murmured 'He was'.)

I'm afraid I can't read the speech bubble, nor can I magnify it. Can you help?

Vicus Scurra said...

ILTV, Dave, please, this is a new politics. We need to work together.
Tim. You first.
Anna. Yes, and then I see you, and suddenly I am restored to a state of calm.
Richard. You doubt my veracity? You bounder!
Christopher. Should be OK now - you can click on it. (This problem was caused because I moved the picture having uploading it, Blogger not allowing me to place it where I wanted. Must have lost some html code in moving it. I have just uploaded it again, and this time there was a new interface, which put the picture where I wanted, and now enables the click). Not sure what you mean about North. All I know of him was that he was blamed for losing the American colonies. This seems to me, as I have said many times before, as showing remarkable perspicacity. And he had a coalition. Pls to explain.

Scarlet Blue said...

I'm glad I watched Junior Apprentice instead.

donn said...

I am delighted that you have found a crusade worthy of your time and talents.
It is distressing that the world is going to hell in a handbasket however one must consider the facts. Most people don't care.

The vast majority of Earthlings are more concerned with finding enough food and water for the day. Those of us who are so blessed to live in the First World, have been sentenced to a lifetime of spinning on our little flywheels chasing after more..we want more...always more, there's never quite enough.

We'll stash more in our bloated little tummy, under the wood chips, and in our chubby little cheeks...saving up for that thermonuclear rainy day when we'll need to barter all that stuff we've collected in order to find enough food and water for the day.

Zig said...

schools have been obliged to produce business plans every year since 1998 when 'fair-funding' was foisted upon all schools and they had to manage their own budgets. Running a school now is running a business - it shouldn't be but it is and it's not fun so you can get right behind me as I deface Stonehenge with the little bits of Gove which will be left after I rip him limb from limb.