George was very surprised to find out that he was in charge of a very big house called “The Treasury”.
It was only a couple of minutes walk from his house, but George liked using the shiny car that his friend Dave had given him.
“Does it have sirens?” he asked.
“No,” said PC Collins, who seemed to follow George everywhere, “Boris has said that the only sirens in London are to be used to fetch mad people to the asylum. You’ll probably be hearing them soon enough.”
George was quite fond of Boris, but thought that power had gone to his head.
George wondered if it would be a good idea to put a tax on Mayors.
When they got to the Treasury they were shown into a jolly big room and were told that Sir Nicholas would be with them soon.
George wondered whether this was the same Nick who had become a very good friend of George’s friend Dave.
George was a little bit jealous, until Dave explained that he was just stringing Nick along because he needed his support, but would “knife the little shit in the back at the first opportunity.” This made George feel better.
George looked in all of the cupboards, and was sad that he could find no treasure; he reasoned that it would probably be kept in a chest somewhere, and would ask someone about it. There was no point in being in charge if you didn’t get to see all of the secrets.
Sir Nicholas came in, and George was relieved to see that it wasn’t his friend Dave’s new “friend”, but was still uncomfortable because Sir Nicholas looked a bit like that fool Alistair Darling, who was the chap who used to have George’s job, and George didn’t like Alistair at all.
“What do you do round here, then?” asked George.
“I am the permanent secretary, Chancellor”, said Sir Nicholas.
“Well, we’ll see about that, old boy” said George, “I’ve got more secretaries than I can shake a Pritt stick at round the corner, and, call me old-fashioned, but I’ve always seen it as a woman’s job. I certainly don’t need another one, permanent or not!”
George felt quite silly when Sir Nicholas explained that he wasn’t that kind of secretary.
George didn’t know what else to say. Eventually he ‘remembered’ an important meeting back in Downing Street.
“We’ll probably meet again one day,” said George, “what with being neighbours and all. You do live here, don’t you?”
“Alas, no Chancellor,” explained Sir Nicholas.
“Well, I live upstairs from my office!”, boasted George, “My friend Dave arranged it for me – he lives next door you know – he said that if I lived anywhere else I would probably get lost on the way to work. He’s a proper joker is Dave. Oh! I know what I was going to ask, can I come round tomorrow and look at some of the treasure? About 11 o’clock, would that be all right? Don’t want to hurry breakfast. Frances says it gives me wind.”
“You have no idea how much I look forward to it, Chancellor”, said Sir Nicholas.
“That meeting went jolly well, Collins” said George to PC Collins in the car. With that he rolled down the window, stuck his head out, and made siren noises all the way back home.