George's new job

So far it looked like being one of George’s favouritest days ever! He had a new job, and had remembered to go to Dave’s new office, which was NEXT DOOR! How fab was that? Even he couldn’t get lost! Well, he could, but PC Collins, who seemed to want to follow him anywhere, had stopped him in Horse Guards Parade.

His job seemed to involve sitting round a table listening to Dave and some of the other chaps witter on about something or other, but George was very happy because his secretary had written his name on both sides of the name tag, so he wouldn’t get caught out like that again.

Even better, he had woken up at 4 o’clock this morning with a really brilliant idea! If anyone asked him a difficult question about his new job, such as “What’s an exchequer?” or “Who is the governor of the Bank of England”, he would simply say “I think I will let Vince answer that!”. Brilliant or what? George knew that he wasn’t as dim as some people liked to think. He had practised the phrase in front of his bathroom mirror for twenty minutes this morning, and was pretty sure he could remember it. The only event to spoil the day was when he was in front of the mirror in the gents at number 10, practising “I think I will let Vince answer that!”, and had jumped a mile when the mirror had replied “What are you doing, Osborne you tit, it’s me, Ollie!”. George was a bit cross, but knew he wasn’t the first person to mistake Osborne for Letwin.

George didn’t quite know what to make of his new friend Vince. He seemed quite old and a bit of a swot, and already had a habit of not taking George seriously. Dave had explained “He’s here to take the blame if anything goes wrong.” George thought that Dave was a very good politician, he thought of lots of clever stuff.

Today was nearly as good as the day when he had jumped on Jamie Fitzhugh-Jackson’s back and they had done two circuits of the track at royal Ascot before they had been nabbed by the rozzers. He had been arrested and kept a straight face when they asked him his name and he said “Osborne” (it was the first name he could think of). Dave had seemed a bit cross when he came to collect him from Windsor police station, but George knew that he would do it again next year.

The most exciting thing about the day had been when they told him that he had a new car and driver. He had almost wet himself. If this meeting ended on time he would have time to be driven all the way round the M25. In both directions! If not, he could leave it for another day, and spend the afternoon driving round the city, looking for old Boris to knock him off his bike.