George was sitting in his office drinking a cup of strong Assam that Kylie had made specially for him, trying to remember his password for the computer, in case he ever needed it, when his new friend Vince arrived.
Vince had a young man with him. The young man’s name was Dave. George found this very confusing.
"How will I know which one is calling?", he asked Vince.
“Well, Chancellor, you are David Laws’ boss, and he will probably begin by saying ‘Hello, Chancellor’ whereas David Cameron is your boss, and will probably begin by saying ‘Hello, arsehole’”.
George wasn’t entirely sure that Vince was not teasing him, but he had never seen Vince so much as smile, so he let it go.
“Before we start talking about all this money nonsense,” George said to his new friend Vince, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something. There was another chap, I’m sure his name was Vince as well, and he once said that I was ‘out of my depth’. You don’t know who he is do you?”.
“No idea, Chancellor”, said Vince, very positively.
“Well, if you find out, let me know, will you, I am going to go round to his house, IN MY NEW CAR that my friend Dave gave me, and tell him that I am Chancellor of the Bloody Exchequer.”
“I am sure that that will scare seven shades of shit out of him”, said Vince.
George didn’t like Vince being so crude, but overlooked it, as Vince hadn’t been to Eton, and was therefore probably lacking in vocabulary and good manners.
George wasn't particularly fond of his new friend, Dave, who seem a bit on the smug side, but at the same time did not want to let go of him, because if he did, he would have no-one to take him back to his office - he was pretty sure he could find it, but didn't want to take the risk.
13 comments:
I'm tempted to ask what colour the seven shades of shit are, but I'm not going to
it's like a soap opera, a mini-series...i'm waiting for an office affair, a bastard child emerging from the shadows...cross dressing...and an insidious enema addiction...who needs cable t.v.?
They all look so young, don't they?
George was surprised to read that his friend Vince had televisions named after him
I hope you're enjoying writing this as much as I'm enjoying reading it.
I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it.
ILTV. Please restrain your temptations.
Anna. You are probably too young to remember previous Tory administrations. We are all here waiting for the new Milligans, Proctors and their kinky friends to start to exhibit. It just happens inevitably. I doubt whether George will get involved in any of them, despite the finest education Eton could offer.
Dave. No, they look old and past it like all Tories.
ILTV - did you not read about Dr Cable the other day? Do keep up.
Christopher. I have no way of knowing. I certainly felt a wave of inspiration that caused me to stay up very late on a couple of occasions. Thank you for your kind comment.
(well, of course I know that - but I don't think that George manages to keep track of what's going on)
Dave. No.
ILTV. Thank you. You are quite right.
I listened to George's speech yesterday. He really is a very silly boy. I refrain from commenting any further, you told me off last time and I don't wish to steal your thunder.
Richard, I didn't see it as telling off, it's just that I have privileged insider information.
*Claps hands like a demented seal* ...and therefore demonstrating that I'm almost as silly as George.
Sx
The Laws, An Ass.
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