Sunday, May 06, 2007

Hands across the sea part 2

Wait 'til I get you home, you lanky streak of piss, I told you explicitly not to ask where you could buy slaves.

"And when does your family hope to get indoor plumbing?"

Liz had only just touched down when she strengthened her position as world finger wrestling champion, by dislocating the ring finger of Mrs Audrey-Bob Skunkchewer of Kentucky.

Under American criminal law, the accused has the right to choose their place in an identity parade. Police were looking for someone in connection with the possession of an offensive former daughter-in-law.
Liz is again embarrassed by Phil's mistaking people for Raquel Welch.

"Yo! Grandma! Wanna come to Boston for a tea party?"

8 comments:

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you, Richard, for highlighting the problem with posting comments here. I did not change the options (intentionally, at any rate). If this happens to you there is a posting options link in the edit posting section of blogger that controls the comments.
Just as well it was blocked, however, as I have had stroppy correspondence from Warren Beatty, Sue Barker and the estate of Spiro T. Agnew, none of which you will now have to read, as I deleted them all.

I, like the view said...

and there was me thinking that you just didn't want to be troubled by your faithful readers anymore. . .

Dave said...

'Readers'? Does anyone read this stuff?

I thought we just cut to the chase and moved straight to the comments column. I'm not sure I have enough hours in the day to read all this drivel.

Betty said...

Well, at least I'm now able to point out that the "gentleman" in the Native American costume is actually professional HRH lookalike Jeanette Charles.

Reg Pither said...

Vicus,

While being highly amusing, you are just giving these leeches the oxygen of publicity. I'm sure that if we all ignore them they will go away.

Vicus Scurra said...

ILTV. No, I always welcome the views of my readers, no matter how misguided, simplistic and naive they may be.
Dave. I understand you do not read the articles in "Naughty Non-conformist Nymphs" either.
Betty. Thank you for your wisdom, as always.
Reg. Loathe as I am to treat your views lightly, your strategy will not work. I have been turning down, in strident terms, the invitations to Sandringham for countless years, and yet they still arrive. Say what you like about Thatcher (you remember her?) , when I told her what I would like to do to her with a baseball bat she stopped pestering me to go to Chequers.

Kindness said...

As I feel I cannot comment on Sarah Beeney's tits... I am left to laugh my tits off over "Hands across the sea" both parts 1 and 2...

Vicus Scurra said...

Kindness, if, indeed, you have laughed them off, then please remember to pick them up and take them with you when you leave. I don't want to be tripping over them on my way to the bathroom.