Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Lowering the tone

I am obliged to my friends at the Telegraph online who have reported that the compound which is the main constituent in Viagra is also useful in countering the effects of jet lag – specifically jet lag that results from flying east by six hours or more.

I am therefore asking for like-minded (is that hyphen alright for you, Dave?) entrepreneurs among you to contribute to my fund (currently £3.74) for building brothels in the arrivals area at terminals 3 and 4 at Heathrow, to greet the hordes of horny and invigorated Americans pouring out of the skies. If this experiment goes well, then there will be branches of the enterprise at all international airports, alongside the ubiquitous hotel chains, car rental companies and fast food outlets. I would welcome your suggestions as to a name, tasteful please. I hope to be able to advertise on television within two to three months. “Howhard Johnsons”? “Breast Western”? for the alternative market “Gays Inn”?

Those wishing to apply for employment, please let me know, in a discrete and polite way, your qualifications.

6 comments:

Richard said...

There's already a chain for those who, in your own words, "catch the other bus" and that's The Campanile.
And dare I say it, Swallow Hotels leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Dave said...

That hyphen will do very nicely, thank you.

Vicus Scurra said...

Richard. Thank you, an early contender for competition winner.
Dave. I think you may have come up with our advertising slogan.

I, like the view said...

I had an email on this topic yesterday, I think I might forward it to you. . .

Carmenzta said...

Brothels? We don't need no stinking brothels. Just have ladies night at the local bars. Helloooo???

homo escapeons said...

HA-that idea is a sure-fired winner!
However having been to Heathrow I know that it is so busy and crowded that you could have an orgy in the middle of the terminal and nobody would even notice? Why rent a room?
What pray-tell will happen to the mile-high club?