It is not, as you will know, my normal practice to comment on news items that feature unfortunate individuals, and to use this forum as a front for ridicule.
I will make an exception in the case of a dentist from
The gentleman in question has been found guilty of cleaning his fingernails and ears with his instruments, prior to using them to probe the cavities of the good citizens of Batley. (i.e. he used his instruments, not his fingernails and ears, to probe the cavities, let us be clear about this).
It is not, as you will know, my normal practice to comment on the lifestyle choices of my fellow humans, and I leave it to less compassionate commentators to say that those choosing to live in Yorkshire have only themselves to blame.
The star of this news story completed his performance as described by one of his nurses.
"How do you tell your employer that you've just seen him urinate in the sink?" she said.
Mr Hutchinson had claimed he had been cleaning his teeth at the sink as part of his normal routine.
For those of you not conversant with care of dentures, I should point out that there are many proprietary cleansers available at your local pharmacy, and pissing on them is not recommended. (i.e it is recommended that you piss neither on your dentures nor the proprietary cleaners nor your local pharmacy.) If such practices appeal to you, I will not sit in judgement. You daft bastard.
What, then, should you expect from a national health service dentist in this age of new labour? I really cannot say. I would just advise keeping your eyes open, no matter how sharp the instruments look, because that antiseptic rinse might not be within the boundaries of acceptability, no matter how impressive the aim.
I am driven to lower the tone here somewhat, because I have met my match when it comes to poetry on the internet. This morning’s offering from my new friend Reg (sorry to keep going on about him, I expect he has many serious defects in real life), made me laugh more than anything I have ever read on the internet. It may not do the same for you, but I defy anyone not to find it funny. Of course, if I tab across to BBC news and find that Thatcher has died, I may have to revise that judgement. If I find that she has been eaten slowly to death by rats then “may” will become “will”.