Annie is excited to attend the new Paddington premiere.
Being queen has some disappointments.
"How many times do I have to tell you, you dull tart, we are not having flock wallpaper"
Nothing amusing about this one.
Chaz was prepared to execute a criminal before dinner in order to share cultural values with the Emir.
"For the 53rd bloody time, I am not that old"
The invitation specified fancy dress.
Chaz was feeling quite content, but moments later he was annoyed to find someone with a sillier hat than his.
For the third year running, Bill was the winner of the "Most Ornate Pigeon Crap" competition.
"No, tell them to back up, I'm the fucking king!"
Annie politely declined the offer of a bra fitting.
A few minutes later the gentleman was seen being loaded into an ambulance.
Chaz was unimpressed by the buffet at the official reception.
"Piss off - you are not rescuing any of my serfs."
Chaz was obliged to firmly grasp the young lady's wrists until he convinced her that he was not Russell Harty. *
"No I bloody well don't have Oliver Cromwell's mobile number"
Bill always enjoyed the Sandringham peasant hunt.
Chaz selects the main course for the Balmoral dinner.
"See the blue moon? That's more common than an England tournament win."
Bill and Kathy had some embarrassing telephone calls to make after the brats' latest shoplifting jaunt.
"Sit down you twat, I can't see a bleeding thing."
Soph couldn't remember buying that hat for Edward. Fourth time this year that she had mistaken someone else for her husband.
Tess was feeling very self-satisfied "I'm off home to sit down with a box of Thornton's Continental and watch a few episodes of 'Only Fools and Horses' - I don't have to attend the State Opening of Parliament anymore."
Chaz and Cams arrive on time to take part in the Wiltshire Flashing Festival.
Young Emily wasn't falling for any of that "pull my finger" shit.
* younger readers (there's no bugger here under the age of 80. Ed.) may have to google this reference.
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